A Reflection or Two

Every moment in every day there are people around us just waiting to influence our lives, but it's not every day that we stop to let them in to allow them to do just that.  As I sit on a bus from NYC to Newton thinking of some of the people I've met this summer I realize how lucky I am to have spent time with them and to have allowed them to influence my thoughts and ideas.  Below are some bullet point reflections on my 7 weeks abroad, but I would be remiss without acknowledging those friends, family members, coffee shop and hummus store owners, who played a bigger part in my time away shaping the way I think and act and want to conduct my life than I could have ever imagined.

So here goes a thought or two...
Everyone needs a Nahum.  I am forever indebted to the friendship Nahum Binder has provided me in my time in Israel and since I met him 4 years ago.  My third day in Israel Nahum and I spent 3 hours laughing, catching up, figuring out my busses from my apartment to classes and getting school supplies from his office. When I babysat his wild and fun five year old boy he gave me the special Sara Liben rate and when I got robbed he printed out copies of all my documents to bring to the consulate and made sure I still studied for finals. My last day in Israel he came into town just to say bye, not to mention all the times he helped me with directions especially when I was computer-less and getting more lost than the average once or twice a day.  We all need someone as kind-hearted as him in our lives.

It is okay to not have your life planned out by age 20.  Or even age 21.  And it is okay to not be the most accomplished person in the world before you graduate college.  If you're also in the Ivy-League craze of everyone needs to land the best internship freshman year and start a non-profit in a third-world country by junior year, (or you know, if non-profits aren't your thing then I'm sure you have a job at Goldman or Citi by summer after sophomore year) then you will greatly benefit from what I have learned.  Our contemporaries in Israel are spending these years serving their country and are astounded by the direction that we have by age 21.  Which makes me wonder, what kind of direction do we have by age 21?  Some of us have a lot and some of us have very little.  But we have our whole lives ahead of us and it's simply okay to realize that it's not all planned out and not everything will be accomplished by graduation.  Which leads me to my next thought--

Make a list (which we all know I love to do) and don't accomplish it all.  It gives you some things to look forward to in the future-- helllo skinny dipping in Tel Aviv!

The far Left is often, if not always, as close minded as the far Right.  There is nothing that made me want to cry in class more than someone putting down my convictions without being able to listen to what I had to say because if I thought that there was a legitimacy to the Israeli army, well then I must be an awful person but of course you're not because you're a Peace and Conflict Major so you must be correct.  We need more open-minded thinking people who aren't hiding behind broad statements to be in conversation with one another.  Listening, understanding, challenging others, and challenging ourselves is the direction of the future.  Let's get there together.

Everyone has something to teach you, you just have to let them.

Even if vegetarianism is not for you, it is worth having a veggie or even vegan meal if only to explore new ways to cook with simple, accessible, and delicious ingredients.  And to make your roommate, friends, and cousins happy.

Say yes when you want to say no, otherwise you never know what that night could have been.  And it is oftentimes better than it would have been if you had said no.  It IS possible to have dinner with your friends and her parents, go out to drinks with her afterwards, see your bestfriend (Rachel here's your shout out!) in a random apartment in Nachlaot, and end up sleeping at a different friends' place all in the same night.  Just figure it out in your head and make it happen.

Some inspiring friends:

Natan, Gabe, and Rachel are friends from high school (Maimo '09) who made Aliyah and are following different paths- Gabe just finished his 3 years in the army, Natan is waiting to hear from Med School/Army programs, and Rachel is about to begin her degree at Hebrew University.

Me and Micah at a Hadag Nachash concert.  Micah just moved to Jerusalem to start The Jerusalem Youth Choir - an acapella group for Israeli and Palestinian students in Jerusalem

With Keren (also my freshman year college roommate) and Julia- my buddies in Jerusalem.  Julia was interning at IPCRI  and was my partner in fun in Jerusalem as well as in Petra, Jordan which I promise will be posted about some time....

You can do everything.  But if you always do everything you won't be able to do anything.  Take care of yourself or else you'll end up sick in your last week of Jerusalem getting 6 hours of sleep and coughing up a storm and before you know it you'll be boarding a plane for a 12 hour flight with no cough medicine.  So yes, do everything, but do it in moderation so that you don't lose time and end up doing nothing.

Try living without a computer for a few weeks.  It's not easy and it will drastically change your plans, but it's definitely eye opening to see how much you depend on the connection to the rest of the world and what you can do without it.

Accept help when it's offered.  Ask for it when it's not.  I never would have gotten through one of my weeks in Israel without the help of Aunt Shirah (Super Dodah as I called her) and friends David, Julia, Rachel, and Hody.  Whether it was driving me to the Consulate or police station, getting me out at night and my mind off of the apartment, or realizing that I've been crazy for sleeping with my wallet every night (seriously, that happened) these friends significantly helped me get through a week without parents or siblings.

Sometimes silence is the best indicator of comfort.  If you can sit in silence eating or reading or thinking next to someone and feel completely comfortable, not having to force any sort of conversation, you're in a good place.

Make friends with strangers and trust your instincts.  Your travels and stories will be infinitely better if you do.  See post 48 Hours of Tel Aviv for just an idea of some of the great characters I met on the streets of Jerusalem.  Then begin to imagine the ones met in Tel Aviv, Eilat, Petra, and more.

Don't just talk the talk but start to walk the walk.  Even if that means taking baby steps.  Wow, the people who are walking the walk, whatever their walk is, those are the inspiring people I referred to in the first paragraph.

Make time for family.  Always.

Spend time with friends at night.  We'll sleep later on buses, airplanes, or on the beach during the day.

L'hitraot, Israel.  See ya in a year or less when I start looking for an overpriced apartment in your wonderful cities.

Boker Tov, Indeed!

You know those days that you wake up and you just know... today's gonna be good.  Despite the anxiety dreams the night before, the incumbent laundry and packing, the sore throat only exacerbated by the coughing, the food to cook for the BBQ tonight... You just say to yourself, hot damn, I have two days of vacation left and I'm gonna do what I can with those two days.

I believe in the pay it forward method. So I said boker tov (good morning) to the guys emptying the dumpsters on my street as I was walking home this morning. And yes, I did just invite the guy at my favorite coffee shop (Butiko, check it out) to come and visit me in NY anytime he wants.  If my boker tov leads to aother person's boker tov which leads to someone else's tzohorayim tovim (good afternoon) then today is gonna be a good day for a lot of people.

I'm gonna go drink some tea to take care of my sore throat (don't worry, it is accompanied by ice coffee) and hop on a bus to Tel Aviv to check out some jewelry at the crafts fair (when life gives you robberies, get new jewelry, ammirite?!) Tel Aviv sun, here I come!  But not for too long, gotta be back in Jerusalem by 5pm to buy the food and cook for the bbq David and I are hosting tonightin honor of his finishing his degree in computer engineering and to say l'hitraot (see you again) because we all know I'll be back!  To those reading in Israel, enjoy the beautiful day. Those just waking up in America, boker tov and pass the energy forward across the globe!

Life is good. Life is funny. Let's do our part in acknowledging that in our day to day routines, we can do little things that can make a big difference.  Indeed, today can be, and will be, a boker tov.

(Written from my blackberry, please excuse any blatant, or not so blatant, typos).

6 Week Slump

I think I'm wearing down.  I know it seems like all I've been doing is a whole lot of staying out late and getting lost on buses, (I admit that I really did take a bus the wrong direction and ended up in Gilo, a somewhat contested area, until I finally made it back to my neighborhood an hour or so later...) but the studying, the finals, the robbery, saying bye to Jonah, and the list of friends here shortening by the day as people go back to the states and parents are visiting their children in Israel for the summer is all finally catching up to me.

I can't remember getting more than 6 hours of sleep in a while and my body feels it.  At camp (my only summer frame of reference) we refer to this at the sixth week slump.  I refer to it as my anxious about only having 6 days to get a new computer, phone, see friends and family, and move in to New York when I go home and only having 6 days to have the best week of my life in Israel when all my friends have family visiting them slump.  So besides sleeping (I'm about to go down for at least a 3 hour nap), cleaning my room, and stretching, here's my short list of things to accomplish in the next 6 days.  Friends in Israel, take a day off from your parents or an evening away from work and have some fun with me... 6 by 6 here we go (ah, if only it was 5 by 5 for all you fellow Buffy fans...)

1. Karaoke Night
2. Swing dancing
3. Get my passport from the Consulate (you laugh but it needs to happen)
4. Skinny Dipping (two birds, one stone!)
5. Go running on the Tayelet
6. Watch the sunrise in Jerusalem

(No picture due to stolen camera... it's never too soon, right?)

A different kind of Tisha B'Av/ פרצו

Every day in Israel I'm learning new words. They generally have to do with my daily life or are fun slang words that make me seem more part of the culture.  Like all new words I'm adding to my lexicon the one I learned on late Saturday night/early Sunday morning was not by looking it up but by experiencing it: פרצו- they robbed.

On Erev Tisha B'av, the night before the 9th of Av, a fast day very meaningful particularly in Jerusalem I made a schedule of things I wanted to do in Jerusalem during the day.  (Yes, I love making schedules, thanks for that, Mom).  I had finals on Tuesday so studying was a must, but I wanted to daven mincha (the afternoon service) at the Kotel, was seeking out a community at Robinson's Arch to be with, and had planned on waking up early to go to an interesting learning session at the Pardes Institute.  I have always been at camp for the fast day and I was so excited to connect on a different level in Jerusalem, going to the sites which we mourn praying side by side all types of Jews and delving into the issues Jews face every day within our community of Sinat Chinam, senseless hatred (which at camp at least is the primary focus of most older-level discussions on the day of mourning).   I was out of my apartment for 3 hours and by the time I got home my apartment was ransacked.  I walked into my apartment, saw my very neat roommate's room was a little messy, and then saw that the door to our backyard was open.  Shock and panic rushed through me as I entered my room which can best be described as hit by a tornado; clothes were thrown out of my closet on to the floor, my bed was torn apart, every single box under the bed was emptied and items from shelves were everywhere.  Keep in mind that I am sub-letting my apartment so most of the stuff gone through was not mine.  But most of the stuff stolen was.  Thank god my friend Micah had walked me home and he describes the scene as follows:

"Holy shit. Holy shit.  This is not messy because of me.  Holy shit."  I sat on my couch staring at my room and thought about everything that was ostensibly (the room was really messy, did I mention that) missing.  Computer-- shit.   Camera--shit.  American money--shit.  

He started to call the police and we suddenly heard a knock on my door- turns out the police were already there because another apartment in my building was also robbed.  I stood there staring at them and just showing them around.  My Hebrew escaped me.  My mind was racing.  I needed to call my roommate, David, who was staying at his parent's that night and tell him what happened.  

Just an idea of what my room looked like

The police look around, ask me what I can think was stolen, figure out how they broke in and give me the case number and tell me someone is coming tomorrow for fingerprints.  Try to not move anything so the investigator can see the whole scene.  Great, I'm really going to sleep easy tonight....  So Micah stays with me as I call my dad, "Do you have your passport?"  I check and see they stole my backpack with my passport in it (I went to Petra, Jordan on Thursday and hadn't yet unpacked).  More panic ensues and I start thinking of everything on my computer that was lost.  Don't bother asking, it wasn't backed up.  I start making lists on sticky notes of things to do.  If the options are fear and panic or panic into action, I choose turning panic into action.  People to call: Mom, Jonah, Maya (who I'm sub-letting from), Hebrew U (How am I going to take finals with no notes to study from)....  Things stolen: that list just kept getting bigger and I added passport and jewelry (some really really nice, expensive, and meaningful jewelry) to it.  I had my dad give me the phone numbers I needed and hung up the phone.  I told Micah he could leave, that I had many phone calls to make, and that I would be okay.  He was very hesitant to leave me alone but the police assured us I would be okay in the apartment.  I called my mom and took down many phone numbers and then resolved to try to read until I could sleep.  I was up until 4am getting in touch with the Consulate and family and finally got to sleep until 7:30 when David saw all my calls and texts, called me, and came right over.  Before 8am he was here and we started to see what they stole from him, most notably an expensive camera, his fan, and a pair of old sneakers.

My day of fasting, studying, and davening turned into a day of filing police reports (I spoke in Hebrew at the police station!), dealing with locksmiths, checking for fingerprints (they wore gloves), getting calls from almost all of my family members in Israel, and starting to clean the room.  I was an emotional mess.  Someone was walking around with my passport.  My computer.  My camera.  My jewelry.  I am so thankful that I wasn't home, that no one was hurt, that these are all material things.  But the violation of someone having your stuff- photos, papers, thoughts and ideas, identity... that is still with me.  Every hour I think of something more that was on the computer and feel that pang of hurt.  I was too scared to sleep and too tired to work.  The vicious cycle has prevented me from sleeping almost all week and I've woken up every 3 hours on the nights that I got more than 4 hours of sleep, which have been 2 since Saturday night.  I feel emotionally and physically tired like I want to be with my friends and family and go through my photos in the comfort of my bed.

Do not get me wrong.  I am extremely thankful that I am okay.  I am extremely grateful that everything is material, that I had my wallet on me, and that 3 years of things on a computer, in the greater scheme of things, is not so much.  I wrote an email to 15 of my closest friends from different walks of life telling them what happened, telling them I missed them, and hoping that wherever they were commemorating Tisha B'Av we could work towards a better place devoid of senseless hatred next year.  Almost everyone responded and the love and support I felt from abroad was unimaginable.  My friends in Jerusalem were offering anything I needed- I told them I just needed to get out a little bit.  My roommate took me to the police station and put himself in my shoes trying to help me in any way possible.  I am beyond grateful to my Aunt Shirah who went above and beyond getting me a computer from my cousin for my finals week, helping me with my appointment with the Consulate for a new passport, and constantly checking up on me.  To friend Nahum Binder who I called Sunday morning and who helped me remember things I needed to do from a practical standpoint, making sure I was still studying for finals, and printing out all of my documents my parents scanned.  To my parents for sending me tons of emails this past week and putting up with my calling them every day to check in.  For acknowledging that I was pretending to be not as scared as I was.  For emailing my aunts and uncles and asking them if I really seemed like I was actually okay.  

David and I did nothing wrong.  Our doors were locked, our shades were down, and even if my stuff was strategically hidden it would have been found by the way every single pocket of my luggage was gone through.  We're victims of senseless hatred exacerbated by the fact that people were not home because they were at synagogue, with friends, walking around the streets of Jerusalem.  The police said there's no hope of finding our stuff, even in second-hand stores, that it's all probably in the territories by now (I'm not saying this  because of stereotypes, 3 different police officers all said the same thing) so I have no hope of getting anything back.  

What next?  Everyone go back up your computers.  Then take a minute to be so grateful for your health, family, friends, lives.  I hear that getting your apartment robbed is a type of rite of passage in Jerusalem.  This is not okay.  So once you take a moment to reflect and thank whomever or whatever you thank, take action.  Teach about senseless hatred, work on a way that you can prevent it in your daily life.  You know it's funny, because before I came home that night I told my friend Micah that I have a lot of faith in the power of humanity.  I still do.  I have a lot of faith in the power of what you can do.  And all of those yous make a pretty strong we.  Next year, let us all have a better Tisha b'Av knowing that we did something, no matter how small, to make this world a better place.